Some days.

The meanings elude me.
Yet supposedly, it is always there.
An intangible existence.
Just there.

Being a hunter was not my sole bread and butter, and I went to earn some cash from teaching maths - an essential basic to any art of living. When I returned to my humble abode at night, I discovered to my horror that team Goose had discarded my membership. Without an Acronym and withholding a mere Grandmaster rank, the Captain declared that I was dispensible - Yangu would take over my position. Rage boiled within me. Was our team spirit built on air? Was winning more important than the love of our friendships?! Had the captain lost his mind?! The questions raced through my mind like a rocket bursting into space. My hatred proliferated and I lashed out at my ex-teammates with a fury akin to God's wrath. Trembling in fear, Yangu left the group and the team rejoined the battle, with me as a member once again. (Lol.)

Our goal for this tournament was not high, yet our fortune seemed to be lacking. The mice evaded our traps like Muslims avoiding pork and our horns ended in a futile song. To burn our time, we embarked on a secondary mission - to defend the World Tree in another realm. For just one hour we turned into heroes and brought down the scourge with brutal strength and spells galore. With the Frozen Throne destroyed, we returned to the hunt, our spirits high and our minds at ease. Eventually the end drew near and we had two horns left. We stared at our traps and wished really hard - for mice and points, with all our heart. At the very last sounding, all four of us succeeded - our points soared and team Goose was published - we were top 100! On the tournament scoreboard we saw our name - "Goose" was published in neat black letters. A sense of pride flushed through us and we congratulated one another, all smiles and laughter. For the tedious undertaking we were awarded 78th position and one token each. :)

The tournament began at 1pm and ended at 7pm. Our captain, filled with zest and determination commanded two other hunters and 1, with a good strategy mapped out in his mind. From our various locations we coordinated our traps, paying close attention to the signals he rapped. With utmost enthusiasm and overflowing confidence, we executed the plan.

At 2.17pm, we hit our target - the first team to hit the multiplier x2. Having allowed only one mouse to escape from our clutches, we now sat high and mighty, at the top of the game! At that moment the champion chest seemed within grasp, and despite the heat of the scorching sun, that afternoon our excitement ballooned. Beads of perspiration formed on our foreheads, but undaunted we remained as we diligently camped by the silver horn. Indeed its appearance was a beauty to behold, and with every sounding, the world seemed to pause from its usual revolving, and the air became still - we held our breaths in anticipation for the results of the hunt to unveil itself.

The next few hours were spent tracking, our foes were on the move and we had to take action! Frantically we hammered on our keyboards, discussing multiple tactics as the situation called for - to deploy a different trap or to journey afar?

But alas, our good fortune was not meant to last. From pages beyond the first, the tournament scoreboard revealed a team, hunting so silently in a place far far away - a place where no ghosts resided. They had hidden themselves amongst the crowd, blending with the noise, hunting in the hustle and bustle of the bazaar. Where only time could tell, it was too late when we realised that their multiplier had hit 3. We looked on in dismay as their member joined the hunt in the mousoleum, and with just one click a ghost mouse was caught, fetching their team 24 (8x3) points. Our confidence wavered and doubt seeped into our hearts - it was evident that the odds were against us.

Nevertheless, team Goose had tried our best - we had held ourselves in the top 5 from 1 till 5.26pm, where a final horn sealed our fate - our choice was made. With diminishing concentration, the mice came and went, never setting off a trap we had. The points we lost could not be regained and we could not deny the inevitable end. Considering the ranks of teams we battled against, it was a goose battle and we emerged 11th, garnering each member a reward of 2 tokens. :)

And so, time zipped by yesterday in a buzz.

No law can bind us in our deeds because rights and wrongs come from within.

There are things you tell certain people and don't tell others not because you're hiding stuff from them, but because you know that not everyone can handle information without judging you. Why should we reveal things to you for ourselves to be judged by others? I don't believe in being judged and looked at in a different way for facing the truth and voicing it out - for basically being real. Even though sometimes it is hard to relate to others and their thoughts, I respect that they stood up for their beliefs, unwavered by society's doctrines of rights and wrongs. And thus I hold a certain level of dislike towards people who judge others in the deeds they undertake because it's clearly our own choice the way we want to lead our lives.

I try not to judge, as much as I can - I may gossip and whisper behind backs when in actual fact I am secretly rejoicing at how different these people are, because they add some sparks to my life. I am just glad that at least there are also these friends whom I can talk to about anything, without being judged or looked at differently.

I don't dislike conservative people yet sometimes I feel a sense of slight resentment because I am surrounded by them and occasionally even feelings of suppression are stirred. I want to turn away from conventionality at times but it is hard because we were brought up in a such a manner with values inculcated in us since day one. Our moral values and who we are today were built on that fact, and it is no one's fault for being so resolute with his/her ideas. Yet knowing that there are those who have freed their minds, followed their hearts and found greener pastures makes my heart yearn - but my relationship holds me staunch and I cannot escape the fear of losing this happiness that is worthy of keep.

So, I left work at 2.30pm yesterday and went home. In the evening I jogged with wq. According to him, the route we took was about 2.7km to 3km. And he used a string to measure it from his computer screen!! (I'm not supposed to tell anyone) I think we were 1/3 done when we stopped and began walking. It's been so long since I last ran until I felt so light-headed. The strangest thing is my hands felt like jelly before my legs did. Anyway, muscle slightly aching in my thigh today, which means yesterday was well worked out! :)

Mom's in Genting with almost the whole family so I practically did not go home the whole weekend! On Friday night I played mahjong with Ching, wb and yw. In the midst of it we rushed down to Woodleigh Close to help an agent from ERA to queue up for a condo unit for his buyer. And so, overnight, we earned 80 bucks each. :) Then came Saturday - where I skipped Jap class and went to the discovery centre with yanxin, wq, daren n yx's friends. One of her friend worked there so we all got to enter for free, plus watch dolphins and whales 3D and Monster vs Aliens 3D! Free free free! :) Sat night and Sunday were spent playing dota with Ching.. So that's how my weekend went, and now I'm back at work and thinking about sneaking off work early. Tentatively 3pm.

Day Four of being a regular blogger continues.. Why do people have so many interesting things to write about? I tried to crack my head for something interesting to write but to no avail. My eyelids are drooping and I still feel so full from lunch! Ate with Hartono Takuya and Moh today at Seah Im food court. I dislike that place actually, 'cause it is really warm and smelly. Once you enter the food court you leave smelling like oil itself. But the food there is much nicer than the mini hawker at the Wholesale Centre so I just have to bear with the warmth. Also if we go to Harbourfront we get to burn 1.5 hours easily due to the shuttle bus timings. I had spicy and yummy tom yum noodles today. Would try to remember to recommend it to Audrey when she's back at work on Monday. By the time I got back it was 2pm and as usual Vernon comes during lunch and he supplied me with some work so now I have only 1 more hour to go! Approximately. I think I'll be going to Hf more often in the coming weeks..

So now I'm burning my time surfing the friends list in my facebook, enlightening myself on how others are doing, even though at the end of surfing I'm sure it will amount to nothing except for a lingering thought if I should stop sticking to ching and socialize more. It just feels like networking is the right thing to do because all the successful people seem to have extensive networks. But I can't help being anti-party, except when I'm leveling.

Ben (what a long lost name) chatted me up today. And I started remembering the really insignificant stuff, like how I challenged him to a game of wc3 one day for a year later (obviously over by now) and the fact that his grandfather used to live at blk 841. Why does my brain choose to store all these insignificant files?!? And he actually knows who ching is! Not that I care. If given a choice I would erase my past and let there only be ching! But I guess the past is what shaped us into who/what we are now and our relationship might have already crumbled had we started off in sec school.